36 And Counting

When I was little, all my friends were going to kindergarten, and since it was privately run at the time, my parents sent me along, too. It wasn't until the end of year that anyone pointed out to them that my birthday was one day after the cut-off date for 1st grade, and that therefore, I would have to repeat kindergarten again. After much effort, my teacher & parents convinced the school board to make an exception for this brilliant, darling, mature little girl, even though she was only 5. ;)

So, I had the illustrious honor of always being the very youngest person in my classes at school. It never seemed to affect me academically or socially (I think?) but emotionally, I felt like the days between my birthdays numbered 547 - 6 months longer than anyone else's. I always felt completely triumphant when my birthday arrived each year and I could FINALLY be 8, or 12, or 16. Nothing burst my bubble more on Nov 16 than to have someone ask how old I was, to hear my response, and then to get a "What?! You're ONLY ____?!" COME ON, people, this was a HUGE accomplishment for me!

Somewhere in my late 20's, I got a little less enthusiastic about my birthdays, for 2 reasons. 1. I was so sleep deprived by my nocturnal children that I wasn't enthusiastic about much of anything and 2. I had that realization that I hadn't really planned much for myself beyond "graduate from high school, graduate from BYU, be a teacher, get married, have kids." The End. Well, it turns out there were a whole lot more years beyond those goals but I didn't really have a vision for what I wanted to be when I grew up from there, and that was unsettling.

I remember lamenting my 30th bday w/my "old" roommate, Denise. She said something to the effect of, "Well, honestly, it's not like your 20's were so great. 30 has got to be better," and I had a huge ah-ha moment. She was right! My 20's were full of uncertainty: "Will I have a date this weekend?" "Will I ever survive student teaching?" "Oh jeez, do I actually love this great friend of mine, P?" Then there was the craziness of getting married & getting used to all of that (though that was all good 'getting used to!'). I taught elementary school for 4 yrs in my 20's, which was a great experience, but soooo much work. Then there were the surgeries and the fertility treatments and the miscarriages and the rough pregnancies, deliveries, and recoveries... Yeah, "20" was quite a ride!

The beauty of my 30's is that a lot of that has been resolved. I don't worry about dates anymore, and I know who I'm married to & I still love being with him (that's a good thing!). I don't have all the baby stress anymore and I honestly enjoy my children very very much. They are such great people who are really portable and rarely wake me up in the night. I am blessed by good friends who live all over the place - did I mention we've moved 10 times in 13 yrs? - and we love living in our little town, where we were finally able to buy a place & put down some roots (we hope - never want to speak too soon).

I am also figuring out more of who I really want to be when I grow up, and accepting that it can't be summarized by a job title. I am letting go of a lot of the preconceived notions of who I "should" be and embracing who I am right now as a work in progress. I acknowledge that I still have a lot to learn, but I've lost a lot of the anxiety I used to feel about who I am. I guess you could say that I suck my stomach in less and open my arms for hugs more these days? :)

A huge part of this process has, unfortunately, been the passing of dear women who left this earth far too early. Their deaths (cancer, I hate you) have reminded me time & again that life is absolutely precious and that celebrating a birthday is way better than not having any more to celebrate. If I'm lucky, I will cling to this belief until my body is so old and worn out that I will be ready to leave it behind and move on to my next life...what's that whole sentiment about sliding into heaven yelling "WOW! What a ride!"?

So with older and wiser enthusiasm than I had 20 years ago, I am joyfully celebrating my arrival at 36. It is not the 7th anniversary of my 29th, and I hope I never count my years like that. But, for the record, I do know that I will miss the health of my younger body (I already do!) but other than that, I hope that I will always just be grateful for another year of "experiences," the joyful as well as the painful, for I am finding out that both kinds can work to teach me and mold me into the kind of woman I want to be when I grow up.

"Captain Hook"

I use this blog as our family's journal, so even though I posted this on facebook already, I wanted to make sure that I officially recorded this conversation, b/c it is destined to be a classic.

E came home from school the other day saying that her friend was singing a song that she just couldn't get out of her head now. I asked what it was, and she sang, "She wears high heels, I wear sneakers, She's Captain Hook and I am a leecher."

I honestly try not to outright laugh at my children very often, but I laughed and laughed and laughed. Of course, she didn't understand why. So, I explained that the lyrics actually say, "She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers."

Sorry, Taylor Swift, I will never hear your song again without laughing out loud.

I LOVE SIX YEAR OLDS!

Big Thanks to Our Veterans

For the past few years, M has written a poem for my granddad (who served in WWII) for Veteran's Day. He often commented how her "thanks" made it all worth it, and that touched me so deeply. I mean, seriously, an eight year old girl says "Thank you" and all those years in the jungle of the Phillipines are all worth it?! Wow!

Granddad passed away this summer, so I sat at the school's (excellent) Veteran's Day concert last week, feeling sad that we couldn't do that tradition this year. Suddenly, I realized that we know 3 families from church whose husbands/daddies are currently serving in the Army! Hmmm.

So, after talking to their wives, the girls & I decided to make these great big cookies as a small token of our appreciation. One just returned home this summer from a year long deployment in the Middle East, another leaves for his 4th tour over there in Feb for an expected year. The third has served multiple tours & and is currently a recruiter. The girls each wrote a letter (complete with illustrations) and I wrote a letter, too. We are so grateful to all our service men and women who have given and continue to give so much to our country.

The best part of the whole day - even better than eating the dough - was watching these men's expressions as we delivered the unexpected treat. We could tell that they aren't used to being personally thanked very often. We've created our new favorite Veteran's Day tradition! Next year, I hope to be able to include local men & women we know who've served in the past as well (but I've got to figure out who they are - it's not really something that most really talk much about). It was just a terrificly humbling experience...how do you really put this kind of admiration and gratitude into words (or cookies)? It was a WAY better day than spending it at the mall, "honoring" the Veteran's Day Sales (although I'm sure there were some pretty good deals out there). THANK YOU, Veterans!

What Kind of Food Are You?

While driving the girls to school this morning, we were listening to an oldies station and a Karen Carpenter song ("Rainy Days and Mondays") came on. I turned it up and said, "I love her voice and I totally wish I could sing like her." M said, "Mmmmm. Reminds me of apple cider. All warm and spicy."

E & I laughed, and she said, "What?! People often remind me of foods."

E: "What am I, then?"
M: "You're a pineapple. That's the fanciest fruit. It's sweet and everybody likes it but if I eat too much of it, it makes my mouth hurt."

E: "What is mommy?"
M: "A strong after dinner mint. It makes all the bad tastes go away."

E: "What is daddy?"
M: "A big juicy watermelon. Messy, but really fun to eat."

E: "What is Abby?" (M's bff)
M: "She's a carmel apple. Kind of hard to explain why."

E: "What is Zeus?" (A's dog)
M: "Animals aren't food to me. Just people are food to me."

I'm still laughing...

New Dresses

The girls' Primary program was this past Sunday and all the children were asked to wear "white on top." It really does look nice - and almost angelic - when they're all up there. Anyway, we happened upon a 60% off sale at Penney's the day before, and they were even the dresses that mom & I had considered buying for the girls when she was here over Halloween. So, it seemed a "sign" that both sizes were still on the rack - and on sale to boot - plus I found an "extra $15 off purchase" coupon in the dressing room...the universe really wanted the girls to have matching dresses, apparently.

The program was great and the girls both did a great job having both their parts memorized and each of them was asked to sing in small groups, too. There was just enough break in the rain to take a few quick pics when we got home from church...

Yes, M got some new glasses, which we love, but they also have transition lenses, which M likes, but Mom doesn't like them in pictures!

Cake Walk

The girls' school has a traditional cake decorating contest for the cake walk at the Fall Festival (not Halloween Party, mind you). Here are the girls' entries for this year:

We were surprised that neither won a prize, but that's ok. The fun is in the creating - and eating the leftovers! We didn't win a cake at the cake walk, either, but with all the flu going around, I was a-ok with that!

Museum of Flight

The girls didn't have school one Friday in early October (never did figure out why, exactly, but hey - we'll take it!) and P suddenly felt "sick" so we decided to head to the Museum of Flight to use our pass once more before it expires.


Feeling very presidential, MY First Family descends the steps of Air Force One (used by Ford, Kennedy, Nixon)

I didn't photograph it, but we heard a presentation from a scientist who worked on the water purification system for the Int'l Space Center, and M & I were brave enough to try a "sample" of water that had been through the system. It tasted like...water!