For My Age

I promise I will stop posting things people say about my age, getting older, etc etc. But this one...

I was visiting outside our home with our church's young missionaries yesterday afternoon. Our neighbor girl came out to walk her dog & I introduced them. After she left, they asked, "How old is she?" I said, "A freshman - 14 or 15, I guess." The newest Elder said, "Oh, wow. For a second there I thought you meant a freshman in college. High school just seems like such a long time ago."

I couldn't help but laugh. I mean, really? A whole year, maybe two, has gone by since you graduated?! I said, "Oh yeah. Tell me about it. I bet you were born the year I graduated from high school." And yeah, pretty much, they were. This same Elder looks at me, squints his eyes and says, "How old are you?!" "36." "36?! Wow! I would have never guessed that! You hide your age really well!"

What. The. Heck?! I couldn't do anything but laugh and make a joke about how I just act immature so I seem younger. But really? Just how old & decrepit am I supposed to look at 36? I wasn't offended - it was just funny how your perspective changes as we age. I remember being younger and hearing someone died at 65 and thinking, "Well, at least they had a long, good life." Now, I gasp - that's way too young to die! So I get where he's at in his head...but it still made me laugh!

Pretty

This morning, M gave me a big hug and said, "Mom, you must've been a really pretty teenager." Laughing, I responded, "Oh, and I'm not pretty now?" (And in that moment, in my pj's and glasses, not so much).

"Well, yeah, you are, for an old lady, that is."

That stinker. :)

See, Mom, It Worked!

E was devastated tonight when she went looking in her wallet for the Sacajawea dollar that the Tooth Fairy left her a few weeks ago, and only found quarters, nickles, dimes, and pennies. Great big sobs about how she lost it, would never find it, etc etc. All the while, I'm saying, "Sweetheart, I know you're upset, but do you really think that crying is going to help here? Is it really going to suddenly appear just b/c you're crying?"

She continues boohooing as she looks through her most-frequently-used purses (as opposed to those in a bin under her bed), so I've got to give her props for continuing to at least look through those teary eyes. I finally tell her to go get ready for bed, and that I am SURE it will turn up. We will just keep our eyes open for it, and suddenly, it will just be there & we'll be so excited. And, I reitterated, crying will not help it show up any sooner!

She flops on her bed, wailing as I toss her pj's to her, and help her out of her sweatshirt. I then leave her to her own drama. Suddenly, I hear a "MOM!" and I met her in the hall, triumphantly hoisting her precious gold Sacajawea dollar in the air. "I found it! I found it!"

"Where was it?" I asked. She pointed to a place on her dresser, tucked back a little ways, where she probably had a better view of it once she flung herself on the bed.

She got a big ol' grin and slyly said, "See, Mom? I TOLD you crying would help!"

At which point I tackled her on her bed, ticklin' & kissin' her & telling her in my most growly mock-annoyed voice, "Noooooo. Crying never helps!"

But, apparently, it does...

Parenting by ESP

Our Miss M did not have the best Monday ever at school yesterday. I think that's just what happens sometimes, following a break, you know? Anyway, we were sitting at the YMCA, watching E's dance class & waiting for M's to start while she was giving me the (dramatic) blow by blow of her day. I listened, tried to empathize, and tried to gently suggest that perhaps she might have been overreacting just a smidge?

She glowered at me and said, "UGH! Why do I even tell you this stuff! You sound exactly like Dad!" (Which, I took as a good sign that P & I are pretty much on the same page with this parenting stuff).

We decided to go burn off some of her anger energy by walking/running on the track upstairs. P was up there in one of the weight rooms, and as we cruised by, he popped out to say howdy. I said, "M just told me about her day (he had picked them up from school, not me, and we all met up at the gym) and she said I sounded just like you did when she told you."

He said, "What?! She never told me anything about her bad day! She just said she wanted to wait and talk to you!" We looked at M, who sheepishly said, "Well, you sounded just like what I knew he would have said if I had talked to him about it!"

P said, "Wow, I'm a pretty good parent! I don't even have to talk! Great having that discussion with you, M!" And then we laughed. And laughed. And that was probably the best cure for a bad day, anyway!

Finally - a Bona Fide 1st Grader!

Poor E had the auspicious distinction of being the only kid in her kindergarten class last year who didn't lose a single tooth. There are one or two others in her first grade class that also share that honor, and today, she was thrilled to leave that exclusive club behind!

Her bottom teeth have been wiggly for a long time now, but she hasn't been brave enough to really encourage them much. Yesterday, Grandma took the girls to the candy store on our way out of town for a treat to get them home (yes, that phrase about "a kid in a candy store" is giddily true). Both girls chose the same treat: a big sucker on a stick (not a circle shape, kind of a spiral). As my dentist brothers cringe, let me assure them that they brushed and flossed really, really extra well last night.

Anyway, those suckers took them about an hour to eat, and biting on it did just the trick to really loosen things up. She was a little traumatized going to bed last night b/c her big sis told her she'd probably swallow it in her sleep (gee, thanks, M). She made it through the night, only waking up once, and was highly distracted by it all morning. About halfway through Sunday School, I saw her little head peek thru the door, and I stepped out to see my very triumphant six year old, holding her tooth in her hand & jumping up & down. We went into the bathroom so she could see in the mirror for her very own self just how great she looked...like a real first grader! What's even better is that she twisted it out all on her own - P & I do NOT pull teeth - ick!

I know the Tooth Fairy has a lot on her mind. I hope she remembers to come by tonight!!!

Meeting a Prophet

As told by M:

"Today for a special stake meeting, Elder Richard G. Scott, came to speak. During his talk, I prayed several times that I would be able to meet him. Soon, I was very confident that I would. I began turning over in my head how this might happen. I often do this before I actually do something, but my plans are often very different than what actually happens. This time, most of my plans involved me racing down and then explaining to my family later. As it so happened, I told my mom that I had prayed to meet this prophet, and could we at least try? She said "You can't rush down there. We have to stay together as a family, but yes, we can try to help you meet him." I guess she knows me pretty well! :)

So, after the prayer, we made our way to the exit we figured he would probably use. We weren't alone, other people seemed to have the same idea. Over the microphone, they said "Elder Scott has a plane to catch. He would love to shake everyone's hand, but if he does, he'll be walking to Salt Lake City." For a moment, my spirits sunk, but only for a moment because my mom told me we would stay there in the hall and still try. The people who still wanted to try formed a little path for him to walk through. The ushers became something like his body guards, but as Dad said later, "They were low-key body guards, but I'm sure they're well trained." I was very excited as Elder Scott came into view. He was moving down the line pretty fast and soon he would be to me. When he came, I told him that I liked what he had said about putting a coat hanger in your mouth (so that you wake up smiling every morning). He smiled and thanked me and I said, "You're welcome." He then asked me my name (he hadn't asked anyone else that!) and I said, "M., M.L.R." and he said, "You have a great spirit." I thanked him, a little unsure exactly what that meant, then he moved on down the line to the door.

I am positive that this wasn't just a mistake. I know it was an answer to my prayer. I am privileged to have met this apostle and prophet of Jesus Christ. I think the reality turned out better than the best of my plans."

Notes from M's Mom:

What a spiritual experience to see my little girl so determined and moved to try to personally meet this apostle today. There were 1200 people in attendance. We got there 45 min early & the place was almost full. We sat on the very back row of the stage (there were other overflow rooms where they close circuited the meeting on tv), and actually had a better view than if we would have been sitting on the floor, I think. Anyway, the Spirit was very strong as he spoke and I wrote as fast & furiously as I could to record his words. I was touched with M's sincere desire to try to meet him afterward, as the thought had crossed my mind, but I had dismissed it, thinking, "There's too many people here, we're too far away from the stand, he's busy, etc. etc." Reminds me of the scripture, "And a little child shall lead them!"

I could feel her anticipation as we stood in the foyer, waiting for him to exit. It struck me how awesome it was that she was so excited to meet him, with an enthusiasm usually displayed by 10 yr old girls meeting rock stars (Jonas, or Hannah Montana came to mind, LOL). He was so sweet with our girls, and I was incredibly touched that with just an exchange of a few words, he could tell just how great her spirit really, truly is. It strengthened my testimony that the Holy Ghost really can and does bear witness of eternal truths like that. I really feel that he caught a glimpse of her spirit, and how valiant and strong she is. He saw far beyond her 10 yr old body, and into the heart of testimony that she has. I hope that she will always, always remember what it felt like to have a prophet say to her, "You have a great spirit." I know I always will!

36 And Counting

When I was little, all my friends were going to kindergarten, and since it was privately run at the time, my parents sent me along, too. It wasn't until the end of year that anyone pointed out to them that my birthday was one day after the cut-off date for 1st grade, and that therefore, I would have to repeat kindergarten again. After much effort, my teacher & parents convinced the school board to make an exception for this brilliant, darling, mature little girl, even though she was only 5. ;)

So, I had the illustrious honor of always being the very youngest person in my classes at school. It never seemed to affect me academically or socially (I think?) but emotionally, I felt like the days between my birthdays numbered 547 - 6 months longer than anyone else's. I always felt completely triumphant when my birthday arrived each year and I could FINALLY be 8, or 12, or 16. Nothing burst my bubble more on Nov 16 than to have someone ask how old I was, to hear my response, and then to get a "What?! You're ONLY ____?!" COME ON, people, this was a HUGE accomplishment for me!

Somewhere in my late 20's, I got a little less enthusiastic about my birthdays, for 2 reasons. 1. I was so sleep deprived by my nocturnal children that I wasn't enthusiastic about much of anything and 2. I had that realization that I hadn't really planned much for myself beyond "graduate from high school, graduate from BYU, be a teacher, get married, have kids." The End. Well, it turns out there were a whole lot more years beyond those goals but I didn't really have a vision for what I wanted to be when I grew up from there, and that was unsettling.

I remember lamenting my 30th bday w/my "old" roommate, Denise. She said something to the effect of, "Well, honestly, it's not like your 20's were so great. 30 has got to be better," and I had a huge ah-ha moment. She was right! My 20's were full of uncertainty: "Will I have a date this weekend?" "Will I ever survive student teaching?" "Oh jeez, do I actually love this great friend of mine, P?" Then there was the craziness of getting married & getting used to all of that (though that was all good 'getting used to!'). I taught elementary school for 4 yrs in my 20's, which was a great experience, but soooo much work. Then there were the surgeries and the fertility treatments and the miscarriages and the rough pregnancies, deliveries, and recoveries... Yeah, "20" was quite a ride!

The beauty of my 30's is that a lot of that has been resolved. I don't worry about dates anymore, and I know who I'm married to & I still love being with him (that's a good thing!). I don't have all the baby stress anymore and I honestly enjoy my children very very much. They are such great people who are really portable and rarely wake me up in the night. I am blessed by good friends who live all over the place - did I mention we've moved 10 times in 13 yrs? - and we love living in our little town, where we were finally able to buy a place & put down some roots (we hope - never want to speak too soon).

I am also figuring out more of who I really want to be when I grow up, and accepting that it can't be summarized by a job title. I am letting go of a lot of the preconceived notions of who I "should" be and embracing who I am right now as a work in progress. I acknowledge that I still have a lot to learn, but I've lost a lot of the anxiety I used to feel about who I am. I guess you could say that I suck my stomach in less and open my arms for hugs more these days? :)

A huge part of this process has, unfortunately, been the passing of dear women who left this earth far too early. Their deaths (cancer, I hate you) have reminded me time & again that life is absolutely precious and that celebrating a birthday is way better than not having any more to celebrate. If I'm lucky, I will cling to this belief until my body is so old and worn out that I will be ready to leave it behind and move on to my next life...what's that whole sentiment about sliding into heaven yelling "WOW! What a ride!"?

So with older and wiser enthusiasm than I had 20 years ago, I am joyfully celebrating my arrival at 36. It is not the 7th anniversary of my 29th, and I hope I never count my years like that. But, for the record, I do know that I will miss the health of my younger body (I already do!) but other than that, I hope that I will always just be grateful for another year of "experiences," the joyful as well as the painful, for I am finding out that both kinds can work to teach me and mold me into the kind of woman I want to be when I grow up.