Here she is with her impromptu microphone...
Sunday, March 1, 2009
"O"
Putting E to bed tonight, she said, "Mommy, I just remembered what that prophet's name was we learned about in Primary today. His middle name was O. David O. McKay." I said, "The O stands for another name, like J stands for your middle name (Joy)." She said, "No, it stands for 'hallelujah!'" and began singing the Hallelujah chorus. Where does she come UP with this stuff?!
Here she is with her impromptu microphone...
Here she is with her impromptu microphone...
M's Latest Poem
M brought home book of About Me poems her class just published...here is hers:
M
Funny, smart, mad, down right crazy
Sister of E
Daughter of P and K
I am the lover of dogs, adventure, and gross things
I feel worried, out of control, and concerned
I need dogs, candy, and books
I give comedy, lessons, and time
I fear tsunamis, high tide, and poisonous polluted air
I would like to see the moon up close
I am a resident of *our town*
R
Gee, you'd never guess she's been raised by a mom who was raised with a healthy fear, respect, and love of the ocean, would you?! I take no credit for the gross things, though! :)
Saturday, February 21, 2009
"Tiger Day"
I was lucky to be able to accompany my girls, and M's friend, A, to the Pt Defiance Zoo & Aquarium today for a special "Tiger Enrichment Day." There were special keeper talks and enrichment activities for the tigers and for the kids as well. We were blessed with fabulous weather and an all-around great day at the zoo!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Mid Winter (!) Break
We were blessed to spend the girls' "mid winter break" at my parent's new place on the WA coast. We loved the three days of sunshine and ample opportunities to be on the beach, even in the pitch black (you should have SEEN the STARS!). We had to keep reminding ourselves that it is the middle of February! It will be crowded with tourists this summer, but I think that's a small price to pay to live within walking distance to the beach, and within easy drives to all kinds of cool places to explore and climb and beachcomb! Thanks, parents, for welcoming us...and for moving to such a fun place!
P & M hiked by themselves (it was a moderate/difficult rating, and I had a migraine, and well, E is 5...) up to North Head Lighthouse. M's reaction when she found out she got to gowith just daddy? "Really! What great bonding time!"
M's favorite game was "Wave Taunting." She decided it was a lot easier to "win"(run from the waves) when the tide was going out, instead of coming in!
E grabbed a stick and started jammin, 'You are the music in me' from High School Musical 2. M was quick to join in. Rock on.
Coat off, shells in tow, thinking about getting a little bit closer to those waves...
One HAPPY girl!
OK, so it was a little chillier on the bay side!
This just made us smile. I so remember the feel of the sand on my feet as the tide pulled the water back in. Only problem for these 2 was that the tide was going out and didn't quite make it up to them! Good try, girls!
One HAPPY momma!Wednesday, February 11, 2009
A Light Bulb Moment
There's been way too much stress on this blog lately; thought I'd share some funnies...
The other day, I was combing M's hair and she brought up (once again) the question, "Mom, why do you do so much nice stuff for me? I just don't get it. I mean, if somebody made me throw up and hurt when they got born and then I had to take care of them all the time, I don't think I'd like them very much."
I put my cheek next to her and said, "Because you're MIIIIIIIIINNNE" and gave an "evil" laugh, then corrected myself, "Actually, you're Heavenly Father's, and He's given you to me and it's my job to try to get you back to Him in as good of shape as possible."
"Yeah, but that doesn't explain why you're so nice to me!"
"Well, when I was a little girl, I always wanted to grow up and have kids. You know that for awhile, the doctor said I might not be able to. That just made me want you more! So, I guess that I'm just really, really glad you're here. Think of it like this: you know how much you want a dog?! When you grow up and can have one, don't you think you'll be a great dog owner?!"
Her face LIT up! "Oh, yeah!!! NOW I get it!"
The other day, I was combing M's hair and she brought up (once again) the question, "Mom, why do you do so much nice stuff for me? I just don't get it. I mean, if somebody made me throw up and hurt when they got born and then I had to take care of them all the time, I don't think I'd like them very much."
I put my cheek next to her and said, "Because you're MIIIIIIIIINNNE" and gave an "evil" laugh, then corrected myself, "Actually, you're Heavenly Father's, and He's given you to me and it's my job to try to get you back to Him in as good of shape as possible."
"Yeah, but that doesn't explain why you're so nice to me!"
"Well, when I was a little girl, I always wanted to grow up and have kids. You know that for awhile, the doctor said I might not be able to. That just made me want you more! So, I guess that I'm just really, really glad you're here. Think of it like this: you know how much you want a dog?! When you grow up and can have one, don't you think you'll be a great dog owner?!"
Her face LIT up! "Oh, yeah!!! NOW I get it!"
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Can I Have Some Amnesiac Medicine, Too?!
I don't even know where to start in retelling the story of our colonscopy day... This is really a long story and I don't intend for anyone to read it all...I just need the therapy of writing it all down. This is my one and only journal, you know...
It would have been a lot easier if her appt hadn't been at 4 freaking pm, for starters! She could still only have liquids, and the candy and popsicles ceased pleasing her at about 11am. She couldn't have anything after 1 pm, so I was really trying to get her to fill up. All she wanted was cheese. "Please, Mom. Can't I have just a little, tiny bit?" (holding up her little fingers in a tiny square). It was killing me! Esp. b/c cheese isn't even one of her favorite foods! I did get her to go for drinking some chicken broth, which tasted nasty to me, but she must've been salt-deprived 'cause she did drink a full cup of that.
At 1pm, I was supposed to do her enema, but I was really nervous about it b/c as she did the liquid diet & the clean-you-out drink, she was getting bloodier and bloodier. So, I called the doctor and HOORAY got out of the enema. I only told her this way, way later when it was all over, when she was being grumpy about the whole ordeal... "Hey, it could have been worse..."
I let her choose what to wear...she chose to stay in her jammies all day. I don't blame her, they're pink fleece and very cozy. But, she accessorized with her new pink sparkly shoes, and fingernail polish (fingers and toes), her rainbow braids, and I even let her wear her sparkly dress up makeup. I figured maybe a little body glitter would bring her good luck? It certainly couldn't hurt. She also packed up her new dog, Tumbles, and new TinkerBell snuggie, as well as a sticker book and cd player w/a book to listen to. I'm usually not so permissive, but hey, Mother Guilt is a powerful thing!
We were to be there at 3pm for the 4pm procedure, so we left at 2. It only takes about 45 min to get there, but we wanted to be safe. Good thing, too, 'cause we got lost. Yes, I've been there before. But I had written down the directions off of mapquest just in case, and they weren't right... I did finally get ahold of someone in the office, who told us how to get there. We circled the parking garage several times before finding a spot and wound up being 10 min late.
They were all ready for her, as they'd had a no show. Boy, do those people KNOW what they're doing. They've really got it all down. They were so friendly and good with E. I just wanted to hug them all. They put a numbing cream on the insides of both her arms, and covered it with plastic bandages, then got her set up watching Barbie's "Princess and the Pauper." We talked in muted voices and agreed that some Versed would be advisable, since there was a real possibility of a complete meltdown (even if she couldn't feel it) when it was time for the i.v. So, they gave her some happy juice and she got a little wobbly. Then we walked her across the hall to the procedure room.
The anesthesiologist juggled for her, and she liked "his" Barbie dolls and the jellyfish hanging from the ceiling (we were in the "Finding Nemo" room). I distracted her with her Tumbles dog and they put the iv in w/just a slight flinch from her. She looked at me and said, "I feel so sleepeeeee" and was OUT. I gave her lots of kisses, and then we went to the waiting room.
It was only 25 minutes before the nurse was telling us they were done, but it was a long 25 minutes. I don't know how parents with kids in hours long surgeries do it. I was really fighting the tears just from watching her go to sleep like that. I mean, I'm so glad she didn't have to be awake for it, but it was just creepy... I said to P, who was being very very quiet, "Doesn't that bother you?" and he said, "Oh, yes. That is why I am not saying anything or thinking about it!" and dove into his book. I did take a minute to go over to the window and see the sun starting to set and say a little prayer. I think it mostly went like this, "Please, please, please be with her"
She was still asleep when we went in, but began waking up shortly thereafter with an impressive display of what they referred to as "The Versed Whine." I guess with the normal drug they use, the kids wake up pretty calm, but that versed can make them whiney. She calmed down when they brought her a red popsicle even though she didn't want to eat it. I climbed in the bed w/her and sat behind her for over an hour, during which time they wheeled us back to the recovery room (wheeee! She really got a kick out of that, and I felt a little silly!) and got the Barbie movie going again.
In the meantime, the doctor started going over the stuff with us. She does have ulcerative colitis, which I still have a lot to learn about, but it means she has tiny ulcers inside her colon. Further up (I forget the proper name), it is clear, which is good 'cause that means it's not Chron's. She is the youngest he's ever seen with Colitis. Hooray. What a distinction. Don't know what causes it. There seems to be a genetic component, but they think viruses can trigger/cause it, too. She did have a funky bug in Dec that came after an ear infection...high fevers and then spots. I have a sub-par auto-immune system, so maybe she does, too and that virus was just enough to trigger it?
She is now on prednisone 1x/day for a month, Zantac 2x/day for 2-3 months, and Asacol 3x/day for the rest of her life. She is still on the low-residue diet for a few more weeks, until the bleeding clears up, which he said would take about a week. We follow up in 3-4 weeks (I tried to make her appt today, was on hold for 40 minutes before giving up).
When it was time to leave, we sent Daddy for the car and then she got to ride in a wheelchair (or royal throne, if you prefer) down to meet him. It was funny how much she liked that! She was thrilled to have me sit by her in the backseat, too. She had already eaten a sandwich I had packed for her but said she needed french fries, so we obliged her on the way home.
We picked M up from her friend's house, headed home, and then I went to the store to fill her new rx's. Can I just say how grateful I am that we have 2 medical insurances?! I don't even know what these meds cost! I have to look into that, so we know as she gets older. But, it was a relief not to be in a panic about how much this might cost!
She was begging to go to bed when I got home, and I told her she had to take a pill first. AN HOUR LATER, she finally got it down. It was HIGH DRAMA, I tell you. We tried putting it in yogurt, ice cream, drinking water from a water bottle (which she caught her tongue on and it bled, thus adding to the excitement), drinking water from a straw, tipping head back, getting hints from M. We prayed, we sang, I tried to get her to laugh (by telling her that we used to just wrap up our dog Lucky's pills in lunchmeat...wanna try that?). I mean, it was just ridiculous. Over any other issue, I would have walked away and tried again the next day. But, I couldn't risk setting that precedent, that "If I throw a big enough fit long enough, Mom will back down" 'cause of course, this is the pill she's to take every 8 hrs for the rest of her life. UGH. Of COURSE it only comes in pill form and can't be broken/crushed. I guess that's what happens when it's a 15 yrs and up disease...not a lot of demand for liquid/chewable meds!
She wound up swallowing it by accident, mid-scream as it were. Good grief.
M and I had to be at her school extra early (7:45) for the field trip today, so I left Daddy to give her her a.m. pills. I got 2 sobbing phone calls from her, but she did eventually take that one. I haven't talked to P yet to know how long it took. This afternoon, she actually did it in one swallow! A nurse had called to see how her recovery went and I mentioned the pill trauma and she suggested having her fill her mouth with water, tip way back, and drop the pill in. Of course, I had suggested this to E last night, but it was NOT a good idea then. BUT, since The Nurse suggested it, THEN it was a good idea this afternoon. I think it also helped that I thought to bribe her (WHY didn't I think of that last night?) with a TinkerBell coloring book I got on clearance the other day. Tonight, we tried the same method w/o the initial instant success, then I realized she was flipping her tongue up instead of keeping it flat, and then I realized she was trying to watch herself in the mirror (no surprise!) and thus, not tipping back far enough. I had her turn around and stick out her tongue more and voila! there it went. She impressed me by wanting to do it all by herself. She even had me go out of the bathroom for a few of her attempts. I saw this as a fantastic sign...the sooner she can do it herself the better! This time, she got a princess sticker book I'd also picked up on clearance. (They were going to be Valentine's presents. ooops) Of course, I told her this present gig can't last forever. I guess it will end when my supplies - or my patience or budget - run out!
I have so much to learn about this new twist in our lives. This sounds bad, but I was actually kind of encouraged today when I asked about what foods she should avoid, should I meet w/a nutritionist, etc and the nurse said, "Actually, the biggest trigger is usually stress." That doesn't make a lot of sense here b/c a) she's FIVE and b) she rarely appears particularly stressed...except when taking pills! But, there was a tiny part of me that was secretly glad I don't have to learn a new way to cook! I feel badly about that, and we may find that there are a few trigger foods for her, but I have to admit I'm a tad relieved that I don't have to eliminate milk or wheat... Help me out, here, I'm trying to find a silver lining!
It would have been a lot easier if her appt hadn't been at 4 freaking pm, for starters! She could still only have liquids, and the candy and popsicles ceased pleasing her at about 11am. She couldn't have anything after 1 pm, so I was really trying to get her to fill up. All she wanted was cheese. "Please, Mom. Can't I have just a little, tiny bit?" (holding up her little fingers in a tiny square). It was killing me! Esp. b/c cheese isn't even one of her favorite foods! I did get her to go for drinking some chicken broth, which tasted nasty to me, but she must've been salt-deprived 'cause she did drink a full cup of that.
At 1pm, I was supposed to do her enema, but I was really nervous about it b/c as she did the liquid diet & the clean-you-out drink, she was getting bloodier and bloodier. So, I called the doctor and HOORAY got out of the enema. I only told her this way, way later when it was all over, when she was being grumpy about the whole ordeal... "Hey, it could have been worse..."
I let her choose what to wear...she chose to stay in her jammies all day. I don't blame her, they're pink fleece and very cozy. But, she accessorized with her new pink sparkly shoes, and fingernail polish (fingers and toes), her rainbow braids, and I even let her wear her sparkly dress up makeup. I figured maybe a little body glitter would bring her good luck? It certainly couldn't hurt. She also packed up her new dog, Tumbles, and new TinkerBell snuggie, as well as a sticker book and cd player w/a book to listen to. I'm usually not so permissive, but hey, Mother Guilt is a powerful thing!
We were to be there at 3pm for the 4pm procedure, so we left at 2. It only takes about 45 min to get there, but we wanted to be safe. Good thing, too, 'cause we got lost. Yes, I've been there before. But I had written down the directions off of mapquest just in case, and they weren't right... I did finally get ahold of someone in the office, who told us how to get there. We circled the parking garage several times before finding a spot and wound up being 10 min late.
They were all ready for her, as they'd had a no show. Boy, do those people KNOW what they're doing. They've really got it all down. They were so friendly and good with E. I just wanted to hug them all. They put a numbing cream on the insides of both her arms, and covered it with plastic bandages, then got her set up watching Barbie's "Princess and the Pauper." We talked in muted voices and agreed that some Versed would be advisable, since there was a real possibility of a complete meltdown (even if she couldn't feel it) when it was time for the i.v. So, they gave her some happy juice and she got a little wobbly. Then we walked her across the hall to the procedure room.
The anesthesiologist juggled for her, and she liked "his" Barbie dolls and the jellyfish hanging from the ceiling (we were in the "Finding Nemo" room). I distracted her with her Tumbles dog and they put the iv in w/just a slight flinch from her. She looked at me and said, "I feel so sleepeeeee" and was OUT. I gave her lots of kisses, and then we went to the waiting room.
It was only 25 minutes before the nurse was telling us they were done, but it was a long 25 minutes. I don't know how parents with kids in hours long surgeries do it. I was really fighting the tears just from watching her go to sleep like that. I mean, I'm so glad she didn't have to be awake for it, but it was just creepy... I said to P, who was being very very quiet, "Doesn't that bother you?" and he said, "Oh, yes. That is why I am not saying anything or thinking about it!" and dove into his book. I did take a minute to go over to the window and see the sun starting to set and say a little prayer. I think it mostly went like this, "Please, please, please be with her"
She was still asleep when we went in, but began waking up shortly thereafter with an impressive display of what they referred to as "The Versed Whine." I guess with the normal drug they use, the kids wake up pretty calm, but that versed can make them whiney. She calmed down when they brought her a red popsicle even though she didn't want to eat it. I climbed in the bed w/her and sat behind her for over an hour, during which time they wheeled us back to the recovery room (wheeee! She really got a kick out of that, and I felt a little silly!) and got the Barbie movie going again.
In the meantime, the doctor started going over the stuff with us. She does have ulcerative colitis, which I still have a lot to learn about, but it means she has tiny ulcers inside her colon. Further up (I forget the proper name), it is clear, which is good 'cause that means it's not Chron's. She is the youngest he's ever seen with Colitis. Hooray. What a distinction. Don't know what causes it. There seems to be a genetic component, but they think viruses can trigger/cause it, too. She did have a funky bug in Dec that came after an ear infection...high fevers and then spots. I have a sub-par auto-immune system, so maybe she does, too and that virus was just enough to trigger it?
She is now on prednisone 1x/day for a month, Zantac 2x/day for 2-3 months, and Asacol 3x/day for the rest of her life. She is still on the low-residue diet for a few more weeks, until the bleeding clears up, which he said would take about a week. We follow up in 3-4 weeks (I tried to make her appt today, was on hold for 40 minutes before giving up).
When it was time to leave, we sent Daddy for the car and then she got to ride in a wheelchair (or royal throne, if you prefer) down to meet him. It was funny how much she liked that! She was thrilled to have me sit by her in the backseat, too. She had already eaten a sandwich I had packed for her but said she needed french fries, so we obliged her on the way home.
We picked M up from her friend's house, headed home, and then I went to the store to fill her new rx's. Can I just say how grateful I am that we have 2 medical insurances?! I don't even know what these meds cost! I have to look into that, so we know as she gets older. But, it was a relief not to be in a panic about how much this might cost!
She was begging to go to bed when I got home, and I told her she had to take a pill first. AN HOUR LATER, she finally got it down. It was HIGH DRAMA, I tell you. We tried putting it in yogurt, ice cream, drinking water from a water bottle (which she caught her tongue on and it bled, thus adding to the excitement), drinking water from a straw, tipping head back, getting hints from M. We prayed, we sang, I tried to get her to laugh (by telling her that we used to just wrap up our dog Lucky's pills in lunchmeat...wanna try that?). I mean, it was just ridiculous. Over any other issue, I would have walked away and tried again the next day. But, I couldn't risk setting that precedent, that "If I throw a big enough fit long enough, Mom will back down" 'cause of course, this is the pill she's to take every 8 hrs for the rest of her life. UGH. Of COURSE it only comes in pill form and can't be broken/crushed. I guess that's what happens when it's a 15 yrs and up disease...not a lot of demand for liquid/chewable meds!
She wound up swallowing it by accident, mid-scream as it were. Good grief.
M and I had to be at her school extra early (7:45) for the field trip today, so I left Daddy to give her her a.m. pills. I got 2 sobbing phone calls from her, but she did eventually take that one. I haven't talked to P yet to know how long it took. This afternoon, she actually did it in one swallow! A nurse had called to see how her recovery went and I mentioned the pill trauma and she suggested having her fill her mouth with water, tip way back, and drop the pill in. Of course, I had suggested this to E last night, but it was NOT a good idea then. BUT, since The Nurse suggested it, THEN it was a good idea this afternoon. I think it also helped that I thought to bribe her (WHY didn't I think of that last night?) with a TinkerBell coloring book I got on clearance the other day. Tonight, we tried the same method w/o the initial instant success, then I realized she was flipping her tongue up instead of keeping it flat, and then I realized she was trying to watch herself in the mirror (no surprise!) and thus, not tipping back far enough. I had her turn around and stick out her tongue more and voila! there it went. She impressed me by wanting to do it all by herself. She even had me go out of the bathroom for a few of her attempts. I saw this as a fantastic sign...the sooner she can do it herself the better! This time, she got a princess sticker book I'd also picked up on clearance. (They were going to be Valentine's presents. ooops) Of course, I told her this present gig can't last forever. I guess it will end when my supplies - or my patience or budget - run out!
I have so much to learn about this new twist in our lives. This sounds bad, but I was actually kind of encouraged today when I asked about what foods she should avoid, should I meet w/a nutritionist, etc and the nurse said, "Actually, the biggest trigger is usually stress." That doesn't make a lot of sense here b/c a) she's FIVE and b) she rarely appears particularly stressed...except when taking pills! But, there was a tiny part of me that was secretly glad I don't have to learn a new way to cook! I feel badly about that, and we may find that there are a few trigger foods for her, but I have to admit I'm a tad relieved that I don't have to eliminate milk or wheat... Help me out, here, I'm trying to find a silver lining!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Prep Day 1
Overall, I think today was a lot harder on me than on E, and that's how I want it! She got to eat breakfast this morning (I made her favorite: scrambled eggs w/cheese) and then she went on the clear liquids diet. I am trying to tell her as little information as possible, as knowing what a colonscopy is, for instance, is just going to FREAK her out. She has been on a low-residue (read: no fiber) diet since we last saw the GI doc, so she has become accustomed to not eating things she's always eaten in the past. So, today, I told her that her doctor wants her to come see him tomorrow, and that he wants her to go on an even crazier diet for today and tomorrow. So far, she hasn't questioned it. Ah, the beauty of a 5 year old!
I am glad that we don't drink a lot of juice or soda, or eat much jello, hard candies, or popsicles because she was actually pretty excited about the idea of unlimited access to such luxuries. It wasn't until bedtime that she asked if she could have some food. I said, "How about some more juice or pop instead?!" Things I never thought I'd say... I also went to a second grocery store just 'cause store #1 didn't have the right kind of hard candy. Yeah, I've never done that before, either!
She drank the magnesium citrate w/o much fuss. I mixed it with lemon lime Gatorade and it wasn't too bad (yes, I took a sip). It seemed to do it's magic, so we didn't repeat it this evening (it just said to if it hadn't produced watery "results").
At dinner, I had set a bowl for her to eat her jello in (after trying to convince her that some chicken broth would be really yummy...she didn't buy it) and then I realized she really could just eat right out of the bowl. Her face LIT up. I don't know how much she actually ate, and how much she just chopped around the bowl, but she had a good time and I had also made sure to make a soup she doesn't like, so she was pretty content. We promised to save her some of the french bread for tomorrow after her appt.
All day, I've just been trying to keep her occupied and happy...I'm exhausted! ;) I am pretty much a bundle of nerves about tomorrow. I am so glad P was able to take a sick day and stay home w/us. M is the only one looking forward to tomorrow, I think, as she gets to go home w/a friend whose home she hasn't visited yet but is reported to have chickens and puppies. Oh, and they're having hot dogs for dinner. She's set. (Add hot dogs to my list of things I don't buy. ICK!)
I'm so ready to find out what's going on inside her, and yet, so afraid, too. I keep wondering if I will come to view these days as the "Before" and the "After" days will be the diagnosis? I am so hoping that it is a temporary, fixable thing. I don't want her to have to deal with this the rest of her life. I keep thinking of parents who have chronically ill kids, and praying that somehow, the Lord lets that trial pass by us. Can I just have a little experience, like this, to give me empathy for such parents? I really don't want to have the full understanding of what parents of chronically ill children know. I trust that God will lead us one step at a time and I am trying very hard to believe that He won't give us anything we can't handle.
Reminds me of a favorite bumper sticker:
If it's true that God doesn't give us more than we can handle,
Then I wish He didn't trust me so much.
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