Prep Day 1

Overall, I think today was a lot harder on me than on E, and that's how I want it! She got to eat breakfast this morning (I made her favorite: scrambled eggs w/cheese) and then she went on the clear liquids diet. I am trying to tell her as little information as possible, as knowing what a colonscopy is, for instance, is just going to FREAK her out. She has been on a low-residue (read: no fiber) diet since we last saw the GI doc, so she has become accustomed to not eating things she's always eaten in the past. So, today, I told her that her doctor wants her to come see him tomorrow, and that he wants her to go on an even crazier diet for today and tomorrow. So far, she hasn't questioned it. Ah, the beauty of a 5 year old!

I am glad that we don't drink a lot of juice or soda, or eat much jello, hard candies, or popsicles because she was actually pretty excited about the idea of unlimited access to such luxuries. It wasn't until bedtime that she asked if she could have some food. I said, "How about some more juice or pop instead?!" Things I never thought I'd say... I also went to a second grocery store just 'cause store #1 didn't have the right kind of hard candy. Yeah, I've never done that before, either!

She drank the magnesium citrate w/o much fuss. I mixed it with lemon lime Gatorade and it wasn't too bad (yes, I took a sip). It seemed to do it's magic, so we didn't repeat it this evening (it just said to if it hadn't produced watery "results").

At dinner, I had set a bowl for her to eat her jello in (after trying to convince her that some chicken broth would be really yummy...she didn't buy it) and then I realized she really could just eat right out of the bowl. Her face LIT up. I don't know how much she actually ate, and how much she just chopped around the bowl, but she had a good time and I had also made sure to make a soup she doesn't like, so she was pretty content. We promised to save her some of the french bread for tomorrow after her appt.

All day, I've just been trying to keep her occupied and happy...I'm exhausted! ;) I am pretty much a bundle of nerves about tomorrow. I am so glad P was able to take a sick day and stay home w/us. M is the only one looking forward to tomorrow, I think, as she gets to go home w/a friend whose home she hasn't visited yet but is reported to have chickens and puppies. Oh, and they're having hot dogs for dinner. She's set. (Add hot dogs to my list of things I don't buy. ICK!)

I'm so ready to find out what's going on inside her, and yet, so afraid, too. I keep wondering if I will come to view these days as the "Before" and the "After" days will be the diagnosis? I am so hoping that it is a temporary, fixable thing. I don't want her to have to deal with this the rest of her life. I keep thinking of parents who have chronically ill kids, and praying that somehow, the Lord lets that trial pass by us. Can I just have a little experience, like this, to give me empathy for such parents? I really don't want to have the full understanding of what parents of chronically ill children know. I trust that God will lead us one step at a time and I am trying very hard to believe that He won't give us anything we can't handle.

Reminds me of a favorite bumper sticker:

If it's true that God doesn't give us more than we can handle,
Then I wish He didn't trust me so much.