How Did We Get Here? Thoughts on MareBear

Have you ever had the chance to get to know someone, and the more you learn about them, the more impressive they seem? And then you find out that they've overcome some major obstacles & challenges in their lives & you're even more taken with them?

As we celebrated MareBear's 12th bday yesterday, I realized that I feel that way about my girl. She was a beautiful baby and a darling, precocious toddler. But things got harder in preschool. I chalked it up to a new sibling, a move 5 days later, and first experiences in school. My list of concerns kept growing in kindergarten, even while the teachers reassured me that "she's just young." My gut knew better.

Mind you, she was a completely gorgeous child. Incredibly bright and mostly delightful. But there was a growing list of concerns we had. In first grade, the school counselor started meeting with her/us regularly and teaching coping strategies. She recommended we see a professional clinician to discuss a diagnosis & possible medication, which we acquired, even though the dx didn't seem to quite encompass all our concerns. In the meantime, I have to add, she was also receiving speech therapy twice a week at UW and once a week at school. Second grade was better. Still rocky at times but we were blessed with a terrific teacher who completely understood who MareBear was and what she needed, as she had a son of her own who was similarly wired. Speech and occupational therapy continued at a children's therapy clinic. Third grade was dicey, and my list of observations & concerns kept growing.

Finally, we figured out the right channels and doctors to visit and she was officially diagnosed with a condition that felt like it made the puzzle pieces fit. She began seeing a new doctor who could counsel and prescribe meds and supplements & we began seeing improvement. We had a lot to learn, but we pursued every avenue that seemed like it would be helpful to our girl.

For most of her childhood, it seemed my life was full of research and my calendar full of appointments for her. I feared making her feel like there was something "wrong" with her, and yet, I had such a desire to see who I could find that might be able to help her feel more comfortable in the world.  And now, after countless meetings with a myriad of doctors and sessions with therapists, we arrive at age 12, 7th grade. And I suddenly realize how completely worth it it all was! I get teary as I think how hard she has worked to do so many things that others take for granted, and I could not be more proud of her. I feel like I can say that she is exactly who she is supposed to be, without any qualifiers like "considering she has this syndrome." She's always going to utilize strategies to manage anxiety, probably never going to like crowds very much, and remembering names & faces will always be a bit of a challenge, but none of those characteristics are going to be detrimental to the degree that they were when she was young. I am so grateful to have lived where we have lived, for each area has brought us to different doctors & therapists who offered just the treatments she needed. I am beyond grateful for the gifted teachers she's had along the way. More than anything, I am eternally grateful to have a Father in Heaven - who knows MareBear better than I do - as my partner in this parenting business.

Now, she's not all raised yet! I know we still have great years ahead, full of challenges and joy. But there's just something about this birthday that marks a spot where I'm feeling like I can breathe a little bit. She's not going to be ok. She's going to be MAGNIFICENT!